Sacha Cohen will not be charged with aggravated assault for his “accidental” teabagging of Eminem at Sunday’s MTV Movie Awards - it was all staged and rehearsed.

Comedy writer Scott Auckerman of Mr. Show with Bob and David fame has come clean so that the rest of humanity can now go about the rest of their lives.

He writes on his blog:

“Yes, the Bruno/Eminem incident was staged. That’s all anyone wants to talk about, so let’s get it out of the way. They rehearsed it at dress and yes, it went as far as it did on the live show then. Okay, you can stop reading this blog now!”

Well, if that’s not a big enough surprise, sources suggest that the original offer was made to Paris Hilton instead of Eminem. Hmm, that would have been interesting!