First of all, Audrina, put away your moose knuckle. Your face is telling us one thing, but your vagina is saying it all. There is absolutely no way your hot pocket is comfortable in it’s current state of strangulation. When you smile, your labia smile right back at ya!

Heidi Montag is developing her own 3D movie – in which she will battle a shark with her boobies. She’s already penned a script about the fictitious exploits of a lifeguard named Summer.

“I am making the first 3D beach comedy about a shark that attacks a small beach town and I save the day with my 3D boobs. I’ve even written a role for Dolly Parton to play the town mayor!” Heidi told PEOPLE on Thursday.

“I’m so excited The Hills is finally over and I can now become a full time motion picture actress – there is no better training [for an actor] than being in front of the cameras 24-7 – I’m now finally free to start my career and my new life as a female mogul in Hollywood!”

Heidi makes her acting debut alongside Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston in the romantic comedy Just Go With It, opening Feb. 2011.

Rumors are swirling that reality star Kim Kardashian and NFL player Reggie Bush have called it quits. Amid these reports, Kim took to her Twitter account to post some sexy pics and react to the rumor that she is dating another athlete.

On Saturday morning, the “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” star posted a pic with a caption that read: “Good morning kiss!”

A few hours later, Kim tweeted another photo of her in a bikini, writing, “Another beautiful Miami day on the boat!”

That afternoon, she showed off her tan with a caption that read: “Working on my tan today! What a relaxing day on the boat with my sisters!”

Kim also responded to a tabloid report that she was dating British soccer player Wayne Bridge, tweeting: “Who the hell is Wayne Bridge? LOL Someone please fill me in because I have no clue!”

Now we are talking! No wonder Victoria Beckham has been cast aside for the sexy, seductive Megan Fox.

The black-and-white video released on Feb. 11 shows Megan in her Armani skivvies — so small that she’s practically nude!

Pam Anderson has signed to be on the next season of ABC’s hit Dancing With the Stars, according to sources.

In a move that’s sure to boost the male viewing audience, Pam and the show have agreed to all terms for a deal and the deal is rumored to be done.

Donny Osmond was the champion in the last season of the show, which has a huge fan following.